Seeing an ad in the back of the World News Review, she thought, why not. The promise of earthquake inducing sexual pleasure and a simple outpatient procedure were enough to convince her to take the plunge. Without letting him on her little secret, she decided to surprise him that night. Two seconds later, disaster. It was then she realized that she should have sprung for the extra few dollars to upgrade from the pressed wood option.
PS Please note, this is in the living section.